Saturday, April 12, 2008

Made it through the day...

Well I did make through the day for the most part without getting upset too many times. I did break down a few times but I shook it off and moved on. At times on here the things that I will talk about will be a bit graphic and may disturb anyone who stumbles across this but I am going to try to be honest about this process that I'm going though. One of the harsh realities that I am faced with is that after my surgery, I will no longer be able to produce sperm or semen. With that said, I have to start banking sperm at a local sperm bank in case my wife and I decide to have a child one day. We've begun the research but first my semen has to be free of blood from the biopsy. To clear out the blood, I have to masturbate to evacuate any left over blood. Well today I went through the ol' "hand jive" and low and behold it was like a river of brown blood. The first time you see it it is nauseating and terrifying. I had hoped by today it would have been gone but it seemed like more was there than before.

I wish that I could say that it was as enjoyable as any other time I had masturbated but it isn't when you are doing it for work and knowing that it will have an ugly brown outcome. Here's looking toward clean semen in the future at least for a few more weeks before I will have none. Sorry for the graphicness of the post.

2 comments:

Robert Scholl said...

Fascinating. Your honesty, or should I say your willingness to share honestly about that which few are wiling to talk about, i.e., drawing out the bloodied semen in order to be able to bank your sperm, really makes your blog worth reading. I feel like I'm there with you [ooh! not the ideal place to segue into that statement! LOL!]

But honestly, I really want to acknowledge you for that. Few bloggers seem realize that simply sharing the honest truth makes the blog a very powerful means for human connection. Something you hear a lot of folks claiming they lack in life.

Then again, maybe it has more to do with the kind of person you are. Yeah. That's more likely. It's great to have you blogging because what you write is definitely a contribution. I don't know what kind of hits you get, but I hope you get a lot because others in similar situation can get a lot out of what you have to say.

Bert Scholl
Cancer Blog:
http://bertscholl.blogspot.com

Lynn said...

Hey Bert...Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and for writing your comment. This blog is really exactly that, me trying to share my honest emotions and hopefully help others in a similar situation. At first I wasn't sure what I was going to talk about because I've never had to write anything like this. I immediately knew that I was going to not filter anything out and write in a "stream of consciousness"style with no editing so it felt more real to the reader.

The hit number isn't high as I don't publicize the blog but through other Cancer social networks, it seems that people are starting to read it more and more.

I really like your blog as well. Thanks for putting yours up!

Lynn