Well I did make through the day for the most part without getting upset too many times. I did break down a few times but I shook it off and moved on. At times on here the things that I will talk about will be a bit graphic and may disturb anyone who stumbles across this but I am going to try to be honest about this process that I'm going though. One of the harsh realities that I am faced with is that after my surgery, I will no longer be able to produce sperm or semen. With that said, I have to start banking sperm at a local sperm bank in case my wife and I decide to have a child one day. We've begun the research but first my semen has to be free of blood from the biopsy. To clear out the blood, I have to masturbate to evacuate any left over blood. Well today I went through the ol' "hand jive" and low and behold it was like a river of brown blood. The first time you see it it is nauseating and terrifying. I had hoped by today it would have been gone but it seemed like more was there than before.
I wish that I could say that it was as enjoyable as any other time I had masturbated but it isn't when you are doing it for work and knowing that it will have an ugly brown outcome. Here's looking toward clean semen in the future at least for a few more weeks before I will have none. Sorry for the graphicness of the post.