I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing that I haven't written here in a little over a week. I've been going through quite a bit of mental turmoil dealing with the pathology report. I actually received the report in the mail but decided not to open it. I know myself fairly well and will freak myself out so I decided to wait and see the doctor this coming week to go over with him. Even as I type this on my computer, my heart is racing thinking about it. That's pretty frustrating actually.
Since I last wrote, I've done pretty well with the Kegal exercises and am down to 1 pad today for the incontinence. Some days when I move around the city too much or do too much, I can use up to 3. I see a light at the end of the tunnel though. If I stay faithful to the exercises, I'll beat this thing called incontinence. I'm also doing very well with the old guy working again. I'm able to get erections, which is very good considering it has only been a little less than 3 weeks since the surgery. Well actually by the time I finish this, it will only be 9 hours shy of 3 weeks. In 2 more weeks I will have my PSA test again to see where I am. I'm praying for a zero PSA report.
Since this whole thing has happened I have found myself again. I found the things that make me me, the things that I lost as I got caught up in my work life. It feels good to be back working towards becoming Lynn again.
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I truly understand about finding your way again, cancer can do that, sometimes, you find a better person then the last time you checked. Well this whole year has changed me, I believe i am at a place that i wouldn't have gotten 2 if it weren't for getting sick.
Believe it or not I had incontinence too, just not the same reason, After my fourth child, had to do keigals too. I feel for ya.... Anyway getting too late, and gonna get some sleep before the rug rats get up!
Sincerely caroline
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