Friday, April 24, 2009

Waiting for My Results

Well yesterday was my latest PSA test after my Robotic Radical Prostatectomy and today is that usual "sick at my stomach" waiting period. I hate this because it truly is like reliving that dreadful day every three months when they first told me that I had cancer. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if I can somehow keep cancer from coming back, I'm actually quite glad that I ended up having this horrible disease. It has made me a better person, given me a complete new perspective and appreciation of life as well as giving me the opportunity to have started my non-profit: "Voices of Survivors" which means more to me than anything that I have ever done in my life.

With all of that said, I sit and wait for my cell phone to ring. I'm obviously hoping for good news and be told that my PSA is undetectable but it is so hard not to sit and expect to hear the worst that being that my PSA is rising. Oh the mental games that we play with ourselves can be quite excruciating but we make it through it. They say that we are given exactly what we can handle but to be honest lately in my life, I have been thrown so many curve balls, I'm oft times questioning that but I guess since I'm still here and not in a loony bin, it may be true. Onwards and upwards and I'll just sit here and wait for my results. I'll post again as soon as I get the call from my doctor.


Barry Sherry said...

A friend of mine (lung cancer survivor) says that cancer is the one disease that can take a sane man and make him a raving paranoid. So true.

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